Reflection: Conquering Cancer is a Badge Worn in Memory of Those We've Lost

On June 25th, I celebrated my 28th birthday, but more importantly I celebrated my one year anniversary of completing chemotherapy. It was also a year ago when I officially felt like a cancer survivor. In the world of cancer, a person becomes a survivor the day they are diagnosed. I don’t feel as though I became a survivor (a term I don't really like anyway) until I was officially done with treatment.

It was then that I could look back and say "I survived that." Thankfully I spend the morning of this June 25th becoming a Reach to Recovery volunteer with the American Cancer Society, rather than being hooked up to a bag of dripping poison like last year. Reach to Recovery is a program that trains women who have had breast cancer to help others who are either recently diagnosed, undergoing treatment, making surgical decisions or who have had a recurrence.

Women who are several years out from diagnosis can also call to be paired up with another survivor. Volunteers are typically women who are at least one year out from completing treatment. This is just one support program that the ACS offers. If someone you know is facing a breast cancer diagnosis, please have them call the ACS (1-800-ACS-2345) or go online to so they can be matched up with a volunteer. The ACS has resources for people facing all types of cancer, not just breast cancer.

I've wanted to be a Reach to Recovery volunteer since I was done with treatment. As more and more younger women are diagnosed each year, I hope to be able to reach out to other 20 something year olds to show them that breast cancer doesn’t have to be a negative experience. There are many women I would have never met had it not been for my diagnosis and I consider them to be good friends now.

I even stop into the cancer center at Middlesex to say hi to people when I'm only there for blood work and not an actual appointment. I think it's a great place to socialize! Bonds that are formed during difficult times are hard to break when the event has ended, but who says those bonds have to be broken?

The only person close to my age at the time of my diagnosis was 30 years old and pregnant at the time of her diagnosis. She and I met at a local coffee shop before my surgery and she continues to share her wisdom and support with me. On my last day of chemo she brought me flowers and balloons. To turn her misfortune into a positive experience, she created her own foundation, After the Storm, and has raised thousands of dollars for the Middlesex Hospital Cancer Center. She is truly an inspiration and I am honored to call her my friend.

In the year following chemotherapy my hair has started to grow back (began in September 2010), I transferred into a new position at Wesleyan and I became a part time student. It was also a year of loss and I began to face my own fears of recurrence. During my last treatment, a familiar face walked into the infusion room that belonged to someone I hadn't seen in 9 years. A high school teacher, who I didn't have but still saw several times a week, was in for his first treatment. We caught up on who was still around at the school and ate cupcakes my mom had made for my birthday.

I always meant to make contact with him again after we said our goodbyes that day but it never happened. He lost his battle in March. A friend of mine who had been diagnosed with cancer several years ago had a recurrence and lost his battle in March as well. We had worked together for several years and lost touch after we both moved on from those positions. I found him on Facebook after I finished treatment and we exchanged a few emails but never got the chance to see each other again. He passed away at age 29 and it is for him that I wear my yellow Livestrong band each day.

Then, in early April a best friend from high school suddenly passed away at the age of 28. Suddenly my own mortality was shoved in my face after these losses, all within two and a half weeks of each other. My cousin captained our second Relay for Life team this year and I walked to the Luminaria tent with an index card of names. The sad reality is that this list will continue to grow until some scientist finds a cure. I hope I see that in my lifetime.

I will never forget those who have lost their battle and I owe it to them to make the best out of each day that I'm given.  I personally allow myself 5 minutes a day for thoughts of recurrence. Some days I never think about it and other days I exceed that 5 minutes. It's perfectly natural to think about it and I don't think there are many cancer survivors out there who don't.

I have been given so much in the last year: friendships, support and most importantly, another birthday. As a future nurse, I want to share my experiences and hope with my patients. As a Reach to Recovery volunteer I want to be an example to women in their 20s with breast cancer that life goes on and it can be richer and better than it ever was before cancer.