Parents Need Quiet, Too

For me, one of the hardest things about parenting is that it is all-consuming! No matter what is going on in life, our children need our energy and attention on a consistent basis. Don't get me wrong... I love fetching snacks, wiping mouths, breaking up squabbles, and battling bedtimes as much as the next mom, but there are certainly times when I feel that I don't have enough to give.

Let's face it, part of being human involves having human experiences, and some of them aren't so great! In every person's life, there are times of struggle, transition, confusion, and chaos. During these periods most of us want to stay in bed, or cry all day, or spend hours on the phone with a friend, or maybe we just require some peace and quiet in order to work things out.

But when a child is waiting to be fed, or put to bed, or taken to school, one simply can't indulge in quite the same way. At these moments, I find myself wishing for a pause button; just a few minutes to regain my energy, before it needs to flow out again.

Obviously this handy button doesn't exist, so what's a parent to do? It can be so easy to underestimate our personal needs when we have children to take care of, but we mustn't ignore them altogether. Sometimes we have to cry, scream, lock ourselves in our room, or all of the above! Parents can't simply put all the "hard stuff" on hold until our kids get older. Life unfolds at every moment, and we can't always flow gracefully through every twist and turn. But maybe that's okay.

Kids should understand that their parents also have intense emotions and that they don't always have the answers. If we can handle our emotions with honesty and respect, then our kids will learn to do the same. It's always better to teach by example, right? 

We never know what is going on in someone else's life, but chances are that they are dealing with some form of struggle. So let's be gentle with ourselves and our fellow flawed humans. It's not always possible to be the perfect parent and simultaneously grow as an individual, but hopefully we can strive for a balance somewhere in between.