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Questions and Answers

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions

Question from mom with three  little kids:  How do you get my stubborn 2 1/2 year old daughter potty trained? 

Dear Potty Mom: First, I have to admit that I did not potty train my one and only child.  That doesn’t mean she is not potty-trained now at age 12, it just means I didn’t do it, someone else taught her at 2 1/2 when she was ready to be trained.

 She just would not do it for me.  There’s something about the mother-child relationship that she just knows, “This is what my mamma is supposed to do for me -- change my dirty pants.”  They just “know” this and they insist upon it.  And they know that potty training is a life-altering experience that once you go there, you never go back. 

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So if I had a chance to do it all over again, I would start talking about a deadline on potty training early, like age 1, letting my daughter know in no uncertain terms, “You need fresh pants right now, but this is not something I’m going to do for you for the rest of your life.” 

As soon as you see your child hiding behind a chair or in the corner to perform his or her bodily functions, that’s when you know they are ready. 

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Well, here’s my inelegant solution to potty training: Plan a vacation -- without the child.  Then abdicate responsibility to her Grammy.  That’s what I did. 

Tell your child that you only have three diapers left and that he/she will need to wear his/her Big Boy/Big Girl panties while Grammy is babysitting. I guarantee you that your kid will be potty trained when you come home. 

Children rise to the occasion when it is for someone other than you, the mother.  You know how children are; they’ll not hesitate to demand from you or disappoint you but they won’t do that to someone else.  Just watch it happen; it’s like a miracle. 

I’ll forever be indebted to my mother-in-law for potty training my daughter while I was on vacation and I highly recommend the method.  But I’m sure there are a ton of other greater ideas that are more creative and elegant than this method. 

I know M&Ms are very useful as incentive techniques, for instance, and I’ve had the privilege of attending a “Pee Pee Party,” so I know there are smarter ways to potty train than the one that worked for us. 

So let’s hear your great ideas about potty training, too! 

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