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Health & Fitness

When the Tooth Fairy Misses Your House

When that first tooth comes out, the tooth fairy always brings her "A" game, but after the fifth or sixth tooth breaks lose, she isn't always as reliable.

We went to the Memorial Day parade in Portland this past weekend.  We enjoyed the sights and sounds, especially the Shriners.  For a group of older gentlemen, they sure have a lot of spunk! My girls got buckets full of candy while my son and husband marched with the scouts.

After the parade, the girls and I drove to the Town Hall, our designated meetings spot.  As we waited for the men of the family, the girls went through their candy.  My oldest started chewing on a pixie stick. 

"There's something stuck between my teeth," she said.

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She reached into her mouth and started feeling around.  I expected her to pull out a piece of wadded paper, chewed and wedged between her teeth in her desperate attempt to get to the powdery pixie goodness within.

"I got it," she said.  "Here."  She handed me something that I assumed would be trash.  But no, it was one of her teeth; a lower canine that once had a cavity and was wrapped in silver. She plucked it out without  pomp or circumstance. 

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This was a dramatic difference from her previous experiences that required tugging, yanking, crying and hours of her begging us to please pull it out but no, don't actually touch it, take it out with your mind powers!!

This morning she came downstairs with her face contorted in displeasure.

"I'm going to put my tooth under my pillow again because the tooth fairy must not have found it the first time."

Ruh roh.  In the fog of the holiday, the tooth fairy totally dropped the ball and forgot to leave the cold, hard cash in the designated space under the pillow. 

"Do you want me to give it to you Mom," she asked, one eyebrow raises and her voice laced with suspicion.

"Me? Why would you give it to me? Nah.  The tooth fairy was probably out of town for the Memorial Day weekend.  Maybe she went to the beach with her family for a barbeque and to work on her tan.  Yeah, I'm sure that's it.  Plus, you know...our last name starts with the letter "Y" which means that when she gets her working orders, we are at the bottom of her list so you have to be patient."

She stared at me and blinked because she is ten years old and totally on the brink of not believing in such things.  I could almost hear the thoughts in her head; a mix of confusion, hope and maybe even a little fear that if the story is not true after all, this mother she loves so much might need to be committed to a state mental institution.

I was talking to some friends and apparently I'm not the only one to make tooth fairy excuses.  I heard some great ones.

1. Your money is late because girls get their money first.

2.  You lost your tooth after 5pm which means you won't get your cash until the following business day.

3.  The tooth fairy vacations for the whole month of March.  Everyone knows that. 

Do your kids believe in the tooth fairy? Have you ever had to make excuses for the tooth fairy's failure to deliver? What's the best excuse you've ever made?

 

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