Support Group Appreciates "Sick" Humor

Singer-songwriter and author Carla Ulbrich got sick at age 24. First she lost her job. Then she lost her hair. She then lost kidney function and had a stroke. She nearly lost her life. At some point during her recovery, she also lost her sense of humor.  

“It was devastating. It took over two years to be diagnosed,” she explained during a recent performance at a Middletown support group for family and friends of people with multiple sclerosis. “My friends broke my spell of sadness,” she said, “and I began writing ridiculous, silly songs about being sick.”

The crowd of about 20 appreciated her sick humor.  

Ullrich recalls as a kid she would “run around singing cat food commercials and old Sesame Street songs.” Born in South Carolina, her roots are grounded in Connecticut as both her mother and father are former Nutmeggers and professors at the University of Connecticut.

Twenty years later, she is perky, adorable and healthy, but living with lupus, a serious, autoimmune disease. She is also helping others to cope with their own illness by entertaining them through song and humor. In fact, she’s made her career as a singer-songwriter, humorist, and new author who helps people maintain a sense of humor about illness and the healthcare system. 

Her book, "How Can You NOT Laugh at a Time Like This?" debuted in February.  

She makes fun of the worst things about being ill, including stories about having to refrigerate her urine (the perfect segway to “Little Brown Jug”) and songs about IVs (sung to the Hewey Lewis tune “Happy to Be Stuck With You”) along with the good advice to “never, ever let the doctor do it.”   

Other songs extoll the joys of prednisone (which causes weight gain, cataracts, swelling, mood swings and osteoporosis) and the challenges of medical appointments (sung to the tune of “Over and Over,” the old Dave Clark Five song.)  

“She is very relatable,” said audience member Amanda Lustig. “It’s so important to have humor when you have pain. Otherwise, you just end up curled up in a ball. Humor can take you out of that.”  

In fact, Ulbrich believes that humor is an integral survival skill in the world of illness. But she makes an important distinction between sarcastic and therapeutic humor and warns that sarcastic humor is not healing. 

“Therapeutic humor is positive humor.” She further advises friends of people who are sick to “never make fun of another person’s pain. It’s OK for them to make fun of their own pain, but not OK for someone else” to try and do this. She says the right thing to say is, “I’ve been thinking about you.”  

Her Top Ten list of things to never say to someone who’s sick includes “You don’t look sick,” “Is it contagious?” and “I knew someone who had that ... he died.”  

The humorist enjoys being part of the movement of patients taking greater responsibility and control over their health care, including the new willingness to try alternative therapies. “Things have opened up in the past 20 years within the support groups I’ve visited. People want more control over their lives and their health. Folks are more solution-oriented than before. It’s been change for the good.”  

"Carla brings such wonderful life to these support groups," says co-organizer Kim Radowiecki. "She's a whole new health resource."

Her next performances include a lupus summit in Charlotte, N.C., a physicians’ gala in Michigan, and a medical devices conference in Ottawa. “I’m going to have a lotta fun with that medical devices conference,” she adds.  

The Middletown MS Support Group meets monthly, normally the second Saturday of every month at the Wadsworth Glen activity room from 1-3 p.m. October’s meeting is Oct. 15 and new members are welcome. For information, contact Mary Bois at (860) 828-5240 or mharanboise@comcast.net.  

You can learn more about Carla including clips of her songs and a link to her book and music CDs at http://www.thesingingpatient.com.